I'm Not Graceful Either. I Have No

Tara Reid Is Charging $3,500 For A Personal Appearance Fee. So, For Only $3,500 You Can Either Buy A 1998 Jetta With 130,000 Miles On It... Or Tara Reid, Who Only Has 98,000 Miles On Her.

I Understand That If You're A Kid In Indonesia, You Need To Smoke Because You Just Got Off Work At The Nike Factory.

[late-night Host] Is Not Really A Job For A Woman. You Can't Have Kids And Be A Late-night Host.i Mean Samantha Bee Has Children, But You're There All Day And All Night. No One Has A Life Outside Of It. I Would Never Try To Have A Family. I Care Much More About A Career Anyway, Than Having A Family, So That's My Own Prerogative. It's Just Not Something That A Woman.

A Lot Of Amazing Comedians That I've Worked With Just Really Follow Their Instincts And You Can't Really Teach Someone Comedic Timing. And You Just Kind Of Have It.

I'm Not That Shallow, Asshole. I Don't Need Money. It's Way More Important For Them To Be Good-looking.