I'm Not Giving Up On Life. I'm

I Can Always Get Better. A Lot Of My Ex-girlfriends Don't Think I'm Funny.

We Never Had A Pool, Right. So One Summer, I Remember. My Dad, To Make Me Happy. You Know I Was Bummed Out Cause We Didn't Have The Pool. So One Summer He Bought Us This Thing. It Was Yellow, You Laid It On The Lawn, Sprayed It With The Water, Run Across. Slip N' Slide. Yeah. Would Have Been Fun If Dad Checked For Rocks Before He Laid It Down! Slip N' Bleed From The Anus They Should Have Called This Ride.

Even When I Go To A Salad Bar, I Need To Feel Like I'm One Of The First People There.

If You Lie To A Person At Least Tell Someone Else You've Lied To The Truth. It Balances Out Your Karma.

When You're Not In Love, When You Don't Have Love, Everybody You Know Falls In Love.