I'm Not Fat. It's Just My Awesomeness

The First Time I Got On Stage I Was 10 Years Old And I Did Impressions. I Did Cartoon Characters And I Really Got The Bug For This Life When I Saw That People Were Laughing And Saw The Attention I Was Getting.

I'm Always Ready For Tv. I Don't Have To Edit My Jokes - When You Work Clean, You Can Work Anywhere.

With All The Classes They Offer At School, How Come They Don't Have One For Common Sense?

If You Surround Yourself With A Bunch Of Guys Who No Mas Se Quieren Puro Pari And Are Like, "aaah, Let's Go Get Some Chicks." Guess What? That's Going To Slow You Down And Keep Your Head Somewhere Else.

I'm A Big Guy, But I'm Really Simple With The Food. I'll Hit The In-n-out Or Just The Regular Buffets.