I'm Not A Republican... But I Am

I've Been Wrestling With Reality For Most Of My Life. I'm Pleased To Say I've Won.

I've Learned That You Can't Make Someone Love You. All You Can Do Is Stalk Them And Hope They'll Panic And Give In.

The American Government Is Making Nuclear Weapons Like There's No Tomorrow.

I'm Not As Good A Swimmer As I Used To Be - Thanks To Evolution.

I Had A Very Close Relationship With Another Kid When I Was Growing Up. I Was His Imaginary Friend.