I'm Just Trying To Make A Smudge

Here's Why Sarah Palin Says She Won't Be Running For President. She Says She Can Be More Effective At Getting Others Elected By Not Running. And I Thought, Well, That's True, Because In 2008 She Got Obama Elected.

John Boehner Is A Member Of A Country Club In Ohio. It Turns Out That The Bartender Was Plotting To Poison Boehner. Now Wait A Minute. Isn't That The Movie With Seth Rogen And James Franco?

About Half An Hour Before Air Time - That's When I Become Hyper. I Put Everything Else Out Of My Mind And Just Let That Nervous Energy Surge Through My Body. I Start Talking Faster And Louder. My Confidence Comes Up. It's Actually A Great Feeling.

Airport Screeners Are Now Scanning Holiday Fruitcakes. Not Even The Scanners Can Tell What Those Little Red Things Are.

Sarah Palin Is Joining Fox News. The New Slogan Is 'hair And Unbalanced.'