I'm Gonna Get One Of Those Tracheotomies,

I'd Love To Play In A Red Sox Game. It Would Be So Awesome To Actually Walk Out On The Field And Play, Just For One Inning. I'd Also Steal Everything I Could Get My Hands On In The Clubhouse, Which Is Why They Won't Let Me Do It.

First Of All, I Have To Have Trucks Because I Live Most Of My Time On A Horse Farm, So I've Gotta Have Trucks. It's In The Northeast; I've Got To Have Pickup Trucks To Move Snow, Number One. Number Two, Just If I'm Driving, I Don't Have To Have An Suv, But I Want A Big Car.

There Are About A Thousand Different Variations On A Horse Neigh. Some Of Them Sound Like A Horse Having Sex, Some Of Them Like A Horse Having Sad Sex.

I Would Have To Commit A Crime And Have Cops Chase Me. That Would Be The Only Way To Get Me To Jog Five Miles.

Most Of The Women Placed In The Fire Department Here In New York Never Passed The Physical Test. And A Fat Guy Or A Short Guy, Or Anybody Not Passing The Test In A Life-or-death Job, Leads To Friction.