My Cousin Is Gay, I Always Tell

My Wife Is Always Trying To Get Rid Of Me. The Other Day She Told Me To Put The Garbage Out. I Said To Her I Already Did. She Told Me To Go And Keep An Eye On It.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly, They Use Her In Prisons To Cure Sex Offenders.

[on 8/24/04, Before Entering A Los Angeles Hospital For Heart Valve Replacement Surgery] If Things Go Right, I'll Be There About A Week, And If Things Don't Go Right, I'll Be There About An Hour And A Half.

When We Got Married My Wife Told Me I Was One In A Million. I Found Out She Was Right.

All My Wife And I Do Is Fight About Sex. The Other Night, We Really Had It Out. Well, I'll Put It This Way - I Had It Out.