I'm Extremely Moved By The Loving, Caring

Twitter! Never Have Lives Been Less Lived And More Chronicled!

Martha Stewart Denied Allegations That She Had Been Given Inside Information To Sell 4,000 Shares Of A Stock In A Biotech Firm. Stewart Then Showed Her Audience How To Make A Festive, Quick-burning Yule Log Out Of Freshly-shredded Financial Documents.

I Still Feel Pangs Of Remorse Over An Insidious Habit I've Had Since I Was A Teenager. About Three Times A Week, I Attend Estate Auctions And Make Insulting, Low-ball Bids For Prized Heirlooms Until I'm Asked To Leave.

Let Me Use Their Own Terminology Against Them. They Aborted A Child In The 200th Trimester.

The Punt Returner Got Smacked Like Nancy Kerrigan's Knee On Souvenir Pipe Night.