I'm Complicated, Sentimental, Lovable, Honest, Loyal, Decent,

... Variety And The Hollywood Reporter, Two Publications Read More Faithfully In Hollywood Than The Koran Is In Mecca.

Statistics Show That Many People Watch Our Show From The Bedroom. And People You Ask Into Your Bedroom Have To Be More Interesting Than Those You Ask Into Your Living Room. I Kid You Not!

It Was Plain To See The Hollywood Undertakers Take Care Of Everything. If You Die You Don't Have To Lift A Finger.

Poor People Have More Fun Than Rich People, They Say; And I Notice It's The Rich People Who Keep Saying It.

As I Was Saying Before I Was Interrupted ... I Believe The Last Thing I Said Was 'there Must Be A Better Way To Make A Living Than This.' Well, I've Looked - And There Isn't.