I'm Certainly A Skeptic. I Always Quibble

Bowling Is Not A Sport Because You Have To Rent The Shoes.

The Whole Problem With The World Today: Private Property. If No One Owned Anything, It Would Be A Lot Better. There's Even An Entire Industry Devoted To Keeping An Eye On Other People's Stuff. This Is How Stupid It's Got. If You Decide To Get Rid Of A Lot Of Your Stuff, You Can Give It To A Thrift Shop Or To Goodwill.

Dusting Is A Good Example Of The Futility Of Trying To Put Things Right. As Soon As You Dust, The Fact Of Your Next Dusting Has Already Been Established.

Do You Remember Barbara Bush? I Call Her The Silver Douchebag.

Beethoven Was So Hard Of Hearing, He Thought He Was A Painter.