I'm Basically Always On Tour.

Phoenix Is Great. I Love Phoenix, .. I Love Scottsdale. I Love The James Hotel. I Have A Kathy Griffin Suite. I Love -what's That Place Called? Az 88. I Had Never Had A Cheese Crisp, So I Went To - Oh, Can't Remember. We Went To The State Fair, Where I Was All About The Deep-fried Twinkie. I Ate Every Deep-fried Thing - Oh, It Was Heavenly. I Ate Until I Got Sick.

That's Life When You're On The D-list.

I'm Always Listening And Watching; My Ear Is Like A Boom Mike. And Judging, Frankly. Constantly Judging.

I'm On Every Worst-dressed List Imaginable.

Most People Unfamiliar With The Men In A New Town Might Search For Love Until They Find It. I Picked Out Some Guy On My Second Day In La, Who Worked At The Local Bicycle Shop, And Handed My Virginity To Him. “you Can Fill A Tire? Sounds Good To Me. Let's Call It A Date.” Needless To Say He Wasn't Mr. Right.