I'm Always A Bit Shy Around Evil

Whoever I Had Become Had To Die.

In The 1970s Vampires Were Pretty Boring. The Scariest Vampire Was Count Chocula. One Bite Of Count Chocula And You Were Cursed With Type 2 Diabetes.

There Is No Thanksgiving Back In The Old Country Where I Come From. You Know Why? Because Being Thankful Is A Sin.

If I Start Giving People What They Like I'll Turn Into One Of Them And I Don't Want To Be One Of Them I Want To Be One Of Me.

Valentine's Day Is Celebrated A Little Differently Here In L.a. Nobody Eats Chocolate Because Of The Calories, So People Give Each Other Tofu-shaped Boxes Filled With Bean Curd. Then They Fantasize About What Their Pilates Instructor Would Be Like If He Was Straight.