I'm A Strong Person, But I'd Never

I Was Voted Biggest Ham And Likeliest To Become A Celebrity.

I Think It Became Blurry Because I Grew Up In A Very Private Family. I Mixed Privacy And Secrecy Up Somewhere Along The Line. Everything Became A Secret, And I Thought That Was How You Should Live. Lying About Everything. The Mask I Put On As A Kid To Survive Was The Funny Lady. Then The Funny Person All Of A Sudden Became Harder To Do Without Substances. Substances Let Me Keep The Mask On Longer. Until It Doesn't Work Anymore And You're Just A Mess.

In Some Roles I Have To Wear Fur, And I Always Make Sure It's Fake, Like In Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Faux Fur Is Great Because It Shows People That Faux Can Look Fabulous.

I Like People-watching And Fading Into Crowds.

I Was Born In Washington, D.c., And I Was Raised In Milwaukee.