I'm A Self-made Man. Who Else Would

[madame Nhu Was] The Sandra Dee Of South Vietnam. If I Were Cast On A Desert Island With Her, I Would Quickly Make Friends With The Natives.

I'm A Concert Pianist, That's A Pretentious Way Of Saying I'm Unemployed At The Moment.

I Never Watch The Dinah Shore Show- I'm A Diabetic.

When I Can't Sleep, I Read A Book By Steve Allen.

A Politician Is A Man Who Will Double Cross That Bridge When He Comes To It.