I'm A Self-made Man. Who Else Would

A Conductor Should Reconcile Himself To The Realization That Regardless Of His Approach Or Temperament The Eventual Result Is The Same-the Orchestra Will Hate Him.

You Can't Possibly Hear The Last Movement Of Beethoven's Seventh And Go Slow. (oscar Trying To Talk His Way Out Of A Speeding Ticket)

I Never Read Bad Reviews About Myself, Because My Friends Invariably Tell Me About Them.

I Could Never Have A Mistress, Because I Couldn't Bear To Tell The Story Of My Life All Over Again.

Harpo, She's A Lovely Person. She Deserves A Good Husband. Marry Her Before She Finds One.