I'm A Dyslexic Person, So I Avoid

In Stand-up It Really Helps To Play Yourself And Talk About Your Own Feelings. You Cannot Fail To Be Original If You're Just Talking About What You Think About X, Y And Z. Unless You've Got A Twin Brother Who's Also A Stand-up.

I'm A Dyslexic Person, So I Avoid Books.

Comedy Is Like A Very Cokey, Druggy Sugar. You Get Hits Of Comedy, And It's Very, "more, Give Me More Of That Stuff," Because Serotonin Is Being Released In The Brain. So It's Basically, Everyone Becomes Serotonin Junkies, And We Are Serotonin Dealers. And That's What Being A Comedian Is About.

How To Survive Boarding School. Do Not Express Emotion, Do Not Feel Emotion, Do Not Have Emotion. If Someone Hits You, Hit Them Back, If Someone Argues With You, Argue Back, Never Give In An Inch, Never Look Vulnerable And You Will Survive.

We Stole Countries With The Cunning Use Of Flags. Just Sail Around The World And Stick A Flag In. "i Claim India For Britain!" They're Going "you Can't Claim Us, We Live Here! Five Hundred Million Of Us!" "do You Have A Flag …? "no..." "well, If You Don't Have A Flag, Then You Can't Have A Country. Those Are The Rules... That I Just Made Up!