I'll Never Forget My First Fur. It

My Sister Was So Promiscuous She Broke Her Ankle In The Glove Compartment Of A Car.

Self-pity Is Better Than None.

It Would Seem That Something Which Means Poverty, Disorder And Violence Every Single Day Should Be Avoided Entirely, But The Desire To Beget Children Is A Natural Urge.

Mothers-in-law Do Not Make Good House Pets. Once I Had The Most Wonderful Dream -- I Dreamed That Mothers-in-law Cost Money And I Couldn't Afford One.

The Only Time I Ever Enjoyed Ironing Was The Day I Accidentally Got Gin In The Steam Iron.