If You're Old Enough To Be Arrested,

The No. 1 Cause Of Forest Fires Is Trees.

Censorship Does Not Interfere With The Constitutional Rights Of Every American To Sit Alone In A Dark Room In The Nude And Cuss.

I Like To Pour My Wines For People. I Watch Their Eyes, I Can See What They'll Like. Most People Say They Don't Like Dry Wine Because They Haven't Had A Dry Wine That's Clean And Fruity, Instead Of A Big, Oaky Thing.

I Read An Article That Said One In Five Americans Thinks Elvis Is Alive. I Want To Find Those Morons And Get Them Registered To Vote For Me.

On The Issue Of Inflation, I Think I Could Solve It No Matter How Much Money It Took.