If You're A Car Salesman, And Someone

President Obama Is Currently On A Week-long Trip To Africa, Where He Will Promote Freedom, Democracy, And Economic Opportunity. I Guess He Figured It Hasn't Worked Here - So Try It Somewhere Else.

When You Do Late-night Tv, You Do Different Jokes In The Same Place Every Night. When You're On The Road As A Comedian, You Do The Same Jokes In A Different Place Every Night.

Some Democrats Say The Estimated $60 Billion Dollar Cost Of A War With Iraq Could Be Better Spent At Home. When He Heard That, President Bush Agreed And Announced Plans To Bomb Ohio.

John Kerry Described His Republican Critics As 'the Most Crooked, Lying Group I've Ever Seen.' Now, That's Saying Something, Because Kerry's Both A Lawyer And A Politician.

The Big Story Now Is That President Bush Is Coming Under Attack For His Service In The National Guard. The White House Said, 'no No,' That They Have Payroll Records To Show That He Served In The National Guard. But Today, The Commanding Officers Can't Remember Seeing Bush Between May And October Of '72. President Bush Said, 'remember Me? I'm The Drunk Guy. Remember Me?'