It's Just A Matter Of Time Before

In A Speech Earlier Today President Bush Said If Iraq Gets Rid Of Saddam Hussein, He Will Help The Iraqi People With Food, Medicine, Supplies, Housing, Education - Anything That's Needed. Isn't That Amazing? He Finally Comes Up With A Domestic Agenda - And It's For Iraq. Maybe We Could Bring That Here If It Works Out.

Ron Paul Is In Favor Of Letting States Legalize Marijuana, Prostitution, And Cocaine. So Even If He Doesn't Win, That's Going To Be One Heck Of An Election Night Party.

You Could Do Anything In Your Room At College. You Could Smoke Pot, Live In A Coed Dorm, Have A Girl. But You Couldn't Have A . . . Hot Plate!

I Feel Bad For People Who Die On Valentine's Day. How Much Would Flowers Cost Then, Ten Grand?

Yesterday, President-elect Barack Obama Announced His New Economic Team. You Know What He Should Do? Hire Those People Who Were In Charge Of His Fundraising Campaign. We Can Pay This Thing Off In Like A Week.