If You Think You Have It Tough,

The President Said That Gold Told Him To Invade Iraq. You See That's What Happens When You Mix New Testament And Old Milwaukee.

Over The Last 30 Odd Years, Democrats Have Moved To The Right And The Right Has Moved Into The Mental Hospital. So What We Have Is One Perfectly Good Party For Hedge Fund Managers, Credit Card Companies, Banks, Defense Contractors, Big Agriculture And The Pharmaceutical Lobby... That's The Democrats. And They Sit Across The Aisle From A Small Group Of Religious Lunatics, Flat-earthers And Civil War Re-enactors Who Mostly Communicate By Am Radio And Call Themselves The Republicans And Who Actually Worry That Obama Is A Socialist. Socialist? He's Not Even A Liberal.

Guns Aren't Just A Tool Of Last Resort. They're Awesome. That's Why People Stroke Them. And Name Them, And Take Pictures With Them. You Guys Aren't Just Firearm Enthusiasts — You're Ammosexuals. And Before You Try And Deny You Have Some Sort Of Unnatural Romantic Relationship With Your Gun, Consider This. You're Taking It Out To Dinner! Because It Completes You. Get A Room.

[obamacare] Was Going To Be The Republicans' Big Issue, And They're Not Talking About It Because It's Working.

You Can Always Tell When Obama's Negotiations With The Republicans Are Winding Down, Because He's Missing His Watch And His Lunch Money.