If You Think You Have It Tough,

Ronald Reagan Basically Legalized Every Illegal Immigrant In This Country. I Just Like To Bring This Up Because Every Week I Like To Make Republican Heads Explode About How They Love Ronald Reagan, But Would Despise Everything He Did.

This Is America. We Don't Call An Election Before We Know Who Won. That, After All, Is The Job Of The Supreme Court.

In Ancient Times They Sacrificed The Virgins. Men Were Not About To Sacrifice The Sluts!

Gordon Gekko Was Right: Greed Is Good. Because, The Potty-trained Republicans Have Now Stepped Forward - Like The Koch Brothers - To Say, 'you Know What? You Yokels Stop Talking About Defaulting On The Debt, Because I'm Going To Lose A Fortune!'

Every Time [rand Paul] Opens His Mouth, It Gets A Little Crazier. Today He Angrily Demanded That The Liberal Media Stop Quoting Him In Context.