Gordon Gekko Was Right: Greed Is Good.

When Sex Is Good Theres Nothing Better, When Its Bad Its Not Bad.

Last Week, I Suggested The Candidates Take Up Mushrooms. I'll Be Damned If Rick Perry Didn't Take Me Up On That.

The President Is Not Doing Well With African Americans. His Popularity Rating - His Approval Rating - With Blacks: Two Percent. Two Percent. That Is Somewhere Between Mark Fuhrman And Sickle Cell Anemia.

In Washington, The Air Quality Today Was Described As 'red.'...you Know What 'red' Is? It's Bad For Everyone. Not Just Old People, Sick People And Babies. When It's Just Bad For Old People, Sick People And Babies, That's Called A Republican Budget.

People Like The Mormons And The Scientologists, Who I Think Should Combine And Make A Mormontologist Because What They Believe Is Just So Out There It's Just Laughable.