If You Have Any Trouble Sounding Condescending,

In Less Enlightened Times, The Best Way To Impress Women Was To Own A Hot Car. But Women Wised Up And Realized It Was Better To Buy Their Own Hot Cars So They Wouldn't Have To Ride Around With Jerks.

Technology Will Definitely Solve All Our Problems, But In The Process It Will Create Brand New Ones. But That's O.k. Because The Most You Can Expect From Life Is To Get To Solve Better And Better Problems.

Informed Decision-making Comes From A Long Tradition Of Guessing And Then Blaming Others For Inadequate Results.

Men Live In A Fantasy World. I Know This Because I Am One, And I Actually Receive My Mail There

Every Credible Scientist On Earth Says Your Products Harm The Environment. I Recommend Paying Weasels To Write Articles Casting Doubt On The Data. Then Eat The Wrong Kind Of Foods And Hope You Die Before The Earth Does.