If You Can't Be Kind, At Least

So The First Time You Hear The Concept Of Halloween When You're A Kid Your Brain Can't Even Process The Information. You're Like: "what Is This? What Did You Say?" "what Did You Say About Giving Out Candy? Who's Giving Out Candy?" "everyone That We Know Is Just Giving Out Candy!"

I Have A Problem With That Silver Medal. It's Like, 'congratulation S, You Almost Won. Of All The Losers, You're The Number One Loser. No One Lost Ahead Of You.'

Being A Good Husband Is Like Being A Good Stand-up Comic - You Need Ten Years Before You Can Even Call Yourself A Beginner.

Pain Is Usually Represented By Lightning Attacking The Guy. Glowing Redness Is Also Popular. Sometimes Parts Of The Guy Would Just Burst Into Flames.

Why Do People Give Each Other Flowers? To Celebrate Various Important Occasions, They’re Killing Living Creatures? Why Restrict It To Plants? 'sweetheart, Let’s Make Up. Have This Deceased Squirrel.