If You Cannot Patiently Bear Correction, Endeavor

Back In The Old Days, A Man Could Just Get Sick And Die. Now They Have To Wage A Battle. So My Uncle Bert Is Waging A Courageous Battle, Which I've Seen, Because I Go And Visit Him. And This Is The Battle: He's Lying In The Hospital Bed, With A Thing In His Arm, Watching Matlock On The Tv.

There Are Two Indiscretions That Generally Distinguish Fools: A Readiness To Report Whatever They Hear, And A Practice Of Communicating With Secrecy What Is Commonly Understood.

Your Worst And Most Dangerous Enemy Is The Person That Injures You Under The Pretensions Of Friendship.

I Just Like Doing Standup, That's All I'm Interested In Or Good At.

If You're Watching A Comedian On Television And He's Making A Political Point, I Would Say He's Gotten Too Serious.