I Just Like Doing Standup, That's All

On Update, The Only Real Original Thing Was Trying To Take Away The Cleverness Of The Punchline And Make It As Blunt As Possible.

They Say That If You're Afraid Of Homosexuals, It Means That Deep Down Inside You're Actually A Homosexual Yourself. That Worries Me Because I'm Afraid Of Dogs.

Actually, With Those Dirty Movies, I Find Like, They're Good For About Fifteen, Twenty Minutes. I'm Really Interested. And, Then, Uh, There's One Point, That All Of A Sudden I'm Bored. You Know? I Just Lose Interest Completely And I Feel Deeply Ashamed.

I Have A Little Bit Of An Out-of-body Experience Where I Enjoy The Scenario, And I Really Do Like Seeing A Crowd Turn Into A Mob, And I Do Nothing To Stop It. People Can Become Really Dangerous.

Envy, Like A False Mirror, Distorts The Symmetry Of The Sweetest Form.