I Just Like Doing Standup, That's All

I Want You To Buy This Pit Bull. This Will Protect Your Valuables.' I Don't Own Anything Very Valuable. If I Buy The Pit Bull, That Would Be The Most Valuable Thing I Own. I'd Have To Buy Something To Protect It Then.

You Ever See 'the Dating Game'? That's A Weird Game Show. The Prize On That Show: Another Contestant. Talk About Cheap.

I Don't Have Any Ambition.

After Months Of Speculation, The Sitcom Star Ellen Degeneres Admitted That Yes, She's Gay. Inspired By Her Courage, Today, Diet-guru Richard Simmons Admitted That He Is Really, Really, Really, Really Gay.

A Man's Enemies Are Those He Should Endeavor First To Make His Friends.