I Just Like Doing Standup, That's All

When I Was A Kid, Everybody That Played Golf Was An Old Man. Until Tiger Showed Up, They Weren't In Very Good Shape.

You Know, With Hitler, The More I Learn About That Guy, The More I Don't Care For Him.

Many Frequently Change Their Principles, But Seldom Their Practices.

I Tried To Make The Punchline As Close To The Setup As I Could. And I Thought That Was The Perfect Thing. If I Could Make The Setup And The Punchline Identical To Each Other, I Would Create A Different Kind Of Joke.

Enjoyment Inflames Love In Some Men, And Extinguishes It In Others: The Wind That Assists Large Vessels, Upsets Small Ones.