If You Can Survive Disappointment, Nothing Can

One Time, I Threw A Candy Wrapper On The Street. I Was With A Friend Who Said To Me, You Just Littered On The Street! Don't You Care About The Environment? And I Thought About It, And I Said, You Know What? This Isn't The Environment. This Is New York City. New York City Is Not The Environment. New York City Is A Giant Piece Of Litter. Next To Mexico City, It's The Shittiest Piece Of Litter In The World. Just A Pussy, Runny, Smokin', Stinkin' Piece Of Litter.

The Thing Is, Comedy's Gone In A Weird Direction. People Are Really Into Ironic Comedy And Fakeness And Cleverness.

I Have Twitter So I Can Tell People What I Want Them To Buy And They Give Me Money.

I Don't Have A Brother In Real Life.

Misery Is Wasted On The Miserable.