If You Can Keep Your Head When

Marrying A Man Is Like Buying Something You've Been Admiring For A Long Time In A Shop Window. You May Love It When You Get It Home, But It Doesn't Always Go With Everything Else In The House.

It Has Been Explained To Me That Toys Are Packaged In Shards, To Be Assembled By The Middle-aged And Butter-fingered, Because This Makes It Easier For The Shippers. ... If They Had To Spend Hours And Hours Putting Handlebars Onto Bicycles ... They Would Repent Their Ways And Deliver Something That Looked Like A Rocking Horse And Not Like The Result Of A Small Street Accident.

I Think If You Can Write A Play, Or Produce A Play, The First Step Toward Success [is] If People Don't Want To Kill Themselves In The Lobby. Now There Must Be Four Or Five Other Steps, But That's The First.

Even Though A Number Of People Have Tried, No One Has Yet Found A Way To Drink For A Living.

Some People Have Such A Talent For Making The Best Of A Bad Situation That They Go Around Creating Bad Situations So They Can Make The Best Of Them.