If You Are An Adult, And You

Janeane Garofalo Ended Up, In A Sense, Being Pushed By The Media Into Becoming A Pundit.

For A While, I Thought The Great Disappointment Of My Life Was That I Don't Have A Family Of My Own. Then It Dawned On Me: That's Not What I Think; That's What Married People Think.

I'm Constantly In Fear Of Having A Stroke.

I Can Be Drunk Until 6 In The Morning, And Then I Don't Have To Show Up To Work Until 14 Hours Later.

It's Amazing What I Could've Written In My Life If I Had Realized That I Should Keep Writing And Not Masturbating.