If Mike Tyson Was The Voice Of

Richard Lewis Has This Incredible Ability To Look Like He's Just... You Know It's An Act That's Been Honed. What You Have To Do In Standup Is Create Spontaneity, Somehow; Even Though You've Done This Act A Million Times, You Gotta Look Like You're Almost Just Thinking Of It Now, To Make It Entertainer.

All I Can Say Is That You Only Realize How Big Your Mountain Is Once Youre Laying Motionless, Helpless, And Hopeless In The Valley Below. No One Goes There On Purpose, If You Get What Im Saying, Because The Only Way To Find Your Personal Low Is To Slip And Roll Down That Mountain Of Yours, Straight Through To The Bottom, No Holds Barred.

I've Never Been Swimming, And That's Because It's Never Been More Than Half An Hour Since I Last Ate.

I Ain't Apologizing For Anything, Especially If It's A Joke.

I Once Dealt With A Prima Donna On A Movie Set. I Won't Say Who, But His First Name Is A Country. A Communist Country. Run By Fidel Castro.