I Once Dealt With A Prima Donna

I Was At Yankee Stadium One Time At 5 A.m., But That Was To Buy Angel Dust

I'm Very Resilient. The Only Thing I'm Missing Right Now Are Abs.

When Political Correctness First Started Coming Around, It Ruined Andrew Dice Clay And Eddie Murphy's Stand-up Career. Sam Kinison Died At Just The Right Time, 'cause No One Was Going To Tolerate What He Was Saying Anymore Either.

I Like Gambling On Stuff That You Don't Know Anything About. That's When It's Exciting.

Comedians, We're Just People Who Whine. But We Happen To Be Funny When We Whine.