If Life Is A Bowl Of Cherries,

There Is So Much To Teach, And The Time Goes So Fast.

I Have Seen My Kid Struggle Into The Kitchen In The Morning With Outfits That Need Only One Accessory: An Empty Gin Bottle.

I Will Never Understand Children. I Never Pretended To. I Meet Mothers All The Time Who Make Resolutions To Themselves. 'i'm Going To ... Go Out Of My Way To Show Them I Am Interested In Them And What They Do. I Am Going To Understand My Children.' These Women End Up Making Rag Rugs, Using Blunt Scissors.

Let Me Put It This Way. According To My Girth, I Should Be A Ninety-foot Redwood.

Why Would Anyone Steal A Shopping Cart? It's Like Stealing A Two-year-old.