If Life Is A Bowl Of Cherries,

A Kitchen Without An Ironing Board? Are You Kidding? It's Un-american. It's Like Simon Without Garfunkel.

When You're Lecturing Teenagers And They Begin To Hum And Leave The Room, You Can Sense There Is Hostility.

When Children Reach The Age Of Sixteen, They Discover The Meaning Of Life: Car Keys.

I Will Never Understand Children. I Never Pretended To. I Meet Mothers All The Time Who Make Resolutions To Themselves. 'i'm Going To ... Go Out Of My Way To Show Them I Am Interested In Them And What They Do. I Am Going To Understand My Children.' These Women End Up Making Rag Rugs, Using Blunt Scissors.

If Life Is A Bowl Of Cherries, What Am I Doing In The Pits?