If It Weren't For My Adam's Apple,

Absolutely Nothing Was Happening In My Marriage. I Nicknamed My Waterbed, Lake Placid!

The Doctor Looked My Body Over. I Said: Is There Any Hope? He Said: Yes. Reincarnation.

Best Way To Get Rid Of Kitchen Odors: Eat Out.

Mothers-in-law Do Not Make Good House Pets. Once I Had The Most Wonderful Dream -- I Dreamed That Mothers-in-law Cost Money And I Couldn't Afford One.

You Know What Keeps Me Humble? Mirrors!