If It Weren't For My Adam's Apple,

It's An Ill Will That Blows When You Leave The Hairdresser.

My Cooking Is So Bad My Kids Thought Thanksgiving Was To Commemorate Pearl Harbor.

My Mother-in-law Must Be The Probation Officer I Got For The Crime I Committed Of Marrying My Husband.

Old Age Is When The Liver Spots Show Through Your Gloves.

We Named All Our Children Kid. Well, They Have Different First Names, Like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .