If Ifs Were Gifts, Every Day Would

Most Sportswriters Don't Know Their Ass From A Hole In The Ground.

They Run Like Deer, Jump Like Deer And Think Like Deer.

I'm Not Paid To Be A Role Model. I'm Paid To Wreak Havoc On The Basketball Court.

I Always Laugh When People Ask Me About Rebounding Techniques. I've Got A Technique. It's Called Just Go Get The Damn Ball.

I Don't Know What That Gas Is Made Of, But It Can't Smell Any Worse Than Ernie Johnson 's Gym Bag.