If I Paid Ten Dollars For A

I Would Go Out With Women My Age, But There Are No Women My Age.

People Are Always Asking Me When I'm Going To Retire. Why Should I? I've Got It Two Ways - I'm Still Making Movies, And I'm A Senior Citizen, So I Can See Myself At Half Price.

Someone Who Makes You Laugh Is A Comedian. Someone Who Makes You Think And Then Laugh Is A Humorist.

In Those Days The Best Painkiller Was Ice; It Wasn't Addictive And It Was Particularly Effective If You Poured Some Whiskey Over It.

Critics Are Eunuchs At A Gang Bang.