If I Had Wanted To Ice The

Branson, Missouri, Is Vegas For People With No Teeth.

So Who's The Big Red Menace Nowadays? Cuba. That's It? I'm Sorry, But It's Hard To Whip Up Any Us Against Them Nationalist Fervor About A Country Whose Principal Export Is Citizens Who Can Swim.

A Lot Of People Voting For Pat Buchanan Say They Are Doing So To Send A Message. Apparently That Message Is, 'hey, Look At Me, I'm An Idiot.'

I Would Call The French Scumbags, But That, Of Course, Would Be A Disservice To Bags Filled With Scum. I Say We Invade Iraq, Then Invade Chirac.

Hey, What If Those Crop Circles Are Just Ads For Target?