If I Had To Live My Life

Too Many Of Our Countrymen Rejoice In Stupidity, Look Upon Ignorance As A Badge Of Honor. They Condemn Everything They Don't Understand.

Wracked With A Hangover I Do My Muttering Over A Black Velvet, A Union Of Champagne And Stout. Don't Be Swindled Into Believing There's Any Cure For A Hangover. I've Tried Them All: Iced Tomatoes, Hot Clam Juice, Brandy Peaches. Like The Common Cold It Defies Solution. Time Alone Can Stay It. The Hair Of The Dog? That Way Lies Folly. It's As Logical As Trying To Put Out A Fire With Applications Of Kerosene.

No Man Worth His Salt, No Man Of Spirit And Spine, No Man For Whom I Could Have Any Respect, Could Rejoice In The Identification Of Tallulah's Husband. It's Tough Enough To Be Bogged Down In A Legend. It Would Be Even Tougher To Marry One.

It's The Good Girls Who Keep Diaries; The Bad Girls Never Have The Time.

Will Tv Kill The Theater? If The Programs I Have Seen, Save For "kukla, Fran And Ollie," The Ball Games And The Fights, Are Any Criterion, The Theater Need Not Wake Up In A Cold Sweat.