It's The Good Girls Who Keep Diaries;

I'm The Foe Of Moderation, The Champion Of Excess. If I May Lift A Line From A Die-hard Whose Identity Is Lost In The Shuffle, 'i'd Rather Be Strongly Wrong Than Weakly Right.'

Whatever You Have Read I Have Said Is Almost Certainly Untrue, Except If It Is Funny, In Which Case I Definitely Said It.

I'm As Pure As The Driven Slush.

I Have Enemies I've Never Met - That's Fame.

Wracked With A Hangover I Do My Muttering Over A Black Velvet, A Union Of Champagne And Stout. Don't Be Swindled Into Believing There's Any Cure For A Hangover. I've Tried Them All: Iced Tomatoes, Hot Clam Juice, Brandy Peaches. Like The Common Cold It Defies Solution. Time Alone Can Stay It. The Hair Of The Dog? That Way Lies Folly. It's As Logical As Trying To Put Out A Fire With Applications Of Kerosene.