If I Had A Hammer, There'd Be

I Loved Japan. I Used To Read A Lot About It When I Was A Child. And I Always Wanted To Go. And It Was Delightful. I Absolutely Loved It. What A Smashing Place.

Why Are There No Windows In The Toilets On Aeroplanes? To Protect You From The Most Dedicated Perverts On The Planet, Hanging Off The Wing To Get A Peep?

I Hate All Those Weathermen, Too, Who Tell You That Rain Is Bad Weather. There's No Such Thing As Bad Weather, Just The Wrong Clothing.

When You're Eating Something And Someone Asks 'is That Nice?' No It's Really Revolting - I Always Eat Stuff I Hate.

I Loathe Hecklers. I Haven't Got A Good Syllable To Say. When You Come Out Of The Club Circuit And Into The Concert Hall, They Should Be Gone. There's An Element Of Manners That Should Tell You That The Ticket Is Dear And It's A Different Venue.