I Decided To Stop Drinking While It

I Spent The Whole Time Battering People I Liked And Singing With My Arm Round People I Loathed.

People Who Announce They Are Going To The Toilet. Thanks That's An Image I Really Didn't Need.

I Set Out To Be A Cross Between Lenny Bruce And Robert The Bruce.

Marriage Is A Wonderful Invention: Then Again, So Is A Bicycle Repair Kit.

I've Always Wanted To Go To Switzerland To See What The Army Does With Those Wee Red Knives.