If I Don't Do Stand-up For Two

I Do Enjoy And Feel Compelled To Talk About Things That Are Taboo. One, Because I Think I'm A Troublemaker Inside, If Someone Says, "don't Say That," It's All I Want To Say. And Also, Something I Learned In Therapy ... Which Is Darkness Can't Exist In The Light, And Then That Made Me Think Of Something That Mr. Rogers Said, Which Is, "if It's Mentionable, It's Manageable."

I'm Personally Not Into A Guy Who Wears Pedal Pushers And A Necklace.

I Don't Really Care For Like Fat Jokes About Women, Specifically.

I Think Fake Boobs Have Done Great Things For Real Boobs. I Think People Finally Appreciate Real Boobs. People Like Real Boobs. I Do. I Also Enjoy The Fact That They Are Life-nourishers.

People Who Follow Their Religion To The Letter Of The Law Are Just Silly. I Mean, I Want To Tell Hasidic Jews I Promise You, God Will Not Mind If You Wear A Nice Cotton Blend In The Summer.