If I Ain't Horny, I Check To

I Bought My Parents A Home Before They Died, And They Got To See That I Was Going To Be All Right. They Always Thought I Would Go Someplace.

I'm Slower And Some Days Are Better Than Others, But I'm A Fighter.

I Expected Dracula To Come Jumping Out Any Second. If He Did I'd Have Held Up A Cross, Cause He's Allergic To Bullshit.

I Was A Loner And Never Hung Out With Anyone. I Never Had Any Friends.

Marriage Is Really Tough Because You Have To Deal With Feelings... And Lawyers.