If God Didn't Want You To Masturbate,

Anyone Who's Onstage Is Going To Attract A Certain Number Of Misguided People. But I Was Never Very Interested In Groupies.

Most People Work Just Hard Enough Not To Get Fired And Get Paid Just Enough Money Not To Quit.

Hey! Who Stole My Collection Of Used Bandages?! And They Also Got Away With My Nude Pictures Of Ernest Borgnine!

Children Are Not Our Future, And I Can Prove It With My Usual, Flawless Logic. Children Can't Be Our Future, Because By The Time The Future Arrives, They Won't Be Children Anymore, So Blow Me!

It's Way Beyond Ironic That A Place Called The Holy Land Is The Location Of The Fiercest, Most Deeply Felt Hatred In The World. And It Makes For Wonderful Theater.