If Carrots Got You Drunk, Rabbits Would

I Want To Make A Vending Machine That Sells Vending Machines. It'd Have To Be Real Big.

I Wanna Hang A Map Of The World In My House. Then I'm Gonna Put Pins Into All The Locations That I've Traveled To. But First, I'm Gonna Have To Travel To The Top Two Corners Of The Map So It Won't Fall Down.

I Was At A Bar, And This Guy Bumped Into Me, And He Did Not Apologize, And He Said, "move!" I Thought That Was Rude, So I Said, "go To Hell!" Then I Started To Run. He Caught Up To Me. He Had A Mustache, A Goatee, A Pair Of Earrings, Sunglasses, A Ponytail And He Was Wearing A Hat. He Said, "hey, You Got A Lot Of Nerve!" I Said, "hey, You Got A Lot Of... Cranium Accessories!"

I Am Wearing A Vest. If I Had No Arms, It Would Be A Jacket.

I’d Like To See A Forklift Lift A Crate Of Forks. It’d Be So Damn Literal! You Are Using That Machine To It’s Exact Purpose!