If Carrots Got You Drunk, Rabbits Would

On A Traffic Light Green Means 'go' And Yellow Means 'yield', But On A Banana It's Just The Opposite. Green Means 'hold On,' Yellow Means 'go Ahead,' And Red Means, 'where The Hell Did You Get That Banana At?'

I Love Blackjack. But I'm Not Addicted To Gambling. I'm Addicted To Sitting In A Semi Circle.

A Minibar Is A Machine That Makes Everything Expensive. When I Take Something Out Of The Minibar, I Always Fathom That I'll Go And Replace It Before They Check It Off, But They Make That Stuff Impossible To Replace. I Go To The Store And Ask, 'do You Have Coke In A Glass Harmonica ...do You Have Individually Wrapped Cashews'

You Know When You Go Into A Restaurant, And It Gets Busy And They Start A Waiting List, And They Start Calling Out Names, "dufresnes, Party Of Two." They Say Again, "dufresnes, Party Of Two." But Then If No One Answers, They'll Just Go To The Next Name, "bush, Party Of Three." Yeah, But What Happened To The Dufresnes? No One Seems To Care. Who Can Eat At A Time Like This? People Are Missing! And They're Hungry! That's A Double Whammy! "bush, Search Party Of Three!" You Can Eat Once You Find The Dufresnes!

I'm Into Carpooling, Because Sometimes My Car Gets Hot And Needs To Refresh Itself.