I'd Take A Bromo, But I Can't

During One Of My Treks Through Afghanistan, We Lost Our Corkscrew. We Were Compelled To Live On Food And Water For Several Days.

If At First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try Again. Then Quit. There's No Point In Being A Damn Fool About It.

Horse Sense Is The Thing A Horse Has Which Keeps It From Betting On People.

Comedy Is Merely Tragedy Happening To Someone Else.

I Was In Love With A Beautiful Blonde Once. She Drove Me To Drink. That's The One Thing I'm Indebted To Her For.