I'd Take A Bromo, But I Can't

Money Will Not Buy Happiness, But It Will Let You Be Unhappy In Nice Places.

Comedy Is Merely Tragedy Happening To Someone Else.

Never Eat At A Place Called 'moms', But If The Only Other Place In Town Has A Sign That Says 'eats', Go Back To Moms.

During One Of My Treks Through Afghanistan, We Lost Our Corkscrew. We Were Compelled To Live On Food And Water For Several Days.

Ah, The Patter Of Little Feet Around The House. There's Nothing Like Having A Midget For A Butler.