I'd Rather Be Funny Than Wise.

That Punt Was Higher Than Marion Berry On A Fact-finding Tour Of Cartagena.

I Am Proof That Einstein's "e Equals M C Squared" Is Wrong. My Mass Has Increased, But My Energy Has Dropped.

I'll Say This About The War Protesters: At Least Most Of Them Are Only Putting Duct Tape Across Their Mouths So I Can Still Tell The Rest Of Them To Blow It Out Their Ass.

But The Biggest Fake Of The Year, Paul Begala's Last Smile

Pat Buchanan Is So Homo-phobic, He Blames Global Warming On The Aids Quilt.