I'd Like To Go Out For A

We're Not Actors, We're People Behaving Like Ourselves On Tv. We're Both [me And Gordon Ramsay] Exactly Who We Are On Tv. I Don't Think Either One Is An Exaggerated Version. You Just Have To Be Who You Are.

My Mother Told Me That Life Isn't Always About Pleasing Yourself And That Sometimes You Have To Do Things For The Sole Benefit Of Another Human Being. I Completely Agreed With Her, But Reminded Her That That Was What Blow Jobs Were For.

Seeing Your Mother Naked Is Not Something You Easily Recover From. Seeing Your Mother Naked And Jumping From One Side Of A King-sized Bed To The Other With A Nurse's Hat On While Your Father, Who Is Also Naked, Is Chasing Her With A Bandanna Around His Neck, Is Reason To Put Yourself Up For Adoption.

I Was In A Tailspin Of Confusion I Hadn't Experienced Since The First Time I Heard George W. Bush Speak.

I'm Not That Shallow, Asshole. I Don't Need Money. It's Way More Important For Them To Be Good-looking.