I Got A Vibrator That Needed Two

I Can't Be Skinny All The Time. I Like To Drink And I Like To Eat. I Like Burgers And Bagels.

Then They Have The Audacity To Go Shopping And Pick Out Their Own Gifts. I Want To Know Who The First Person Was Who Said This Was Okay. After Spending All That Money On A Bachelorette Weekend, A Shower, And Often A Flight Across The Country, They Expect You To Go To Williams Sonoma Or Pottery Barn And Do Research? Then They Send You A Thank-you Note Applauding You For Such A Thoughtful Gift. They're The One Who Picked It Out!

Most Republicans Are Against Contraception Because They Don't Care About It. You Can't Get Pregnant Anally Anyway.

There Are Two Kinds Of People I Don't Trust: People Who Don't Drink And People Who Collect Stickers.

Britney Spears' Album Blackout Is One Of The Hottest-selling Cds In The Country. We're In A Bad Place, People: The World Is Melting, We're At War, And Two And A Half Men Is A Huge Hit.