I'd Like To Get Some New Clothes,

You Don't Know Who To Believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He Said All Men Were Created Equal. He Never Went To A Nude Beach.

Everyone Says That Looks Don't Matter, Age Doesn't Matter, Money Doesn't Matter. But I Never Met A Girl Yet Who Has Fallen In Love With An Old Ugly Man Who's Broke.

My Father Carries Around The Picture Of The Kid Who Came With His Wallet.

I Was Making Love To This Girl And She Started Crying. I Said, "are You Going To Hate Yourself In The Morning?" She Said, "no, I Hate Myself Now."

With My Wife I Don't Get No Respect. I Made A Toast On Her Birthday To 'the Best Woman A Man Ever Had.' The Waiter Joined Me.