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Earlier Today, We Got A Call From Stephen Hawking. He's A Genius, And After 6,028 Shows He Ran The Numbers And He Said It Works Out To About Eight Minutes Of Laughter.

There's Already Been Some Trouble For Osama Bin Laden In The Afterlife. There Was A Mix Up And He Was Greeted By 72 Vegans.

Iraq Is So Bad That President Obama Phoned Hillary Clinton And Asked Her If She Could Start Early.

Did You Folks See President Bush's State Of The Union Address? How About That Surprise Announcement? Howard Dean Has Been Captured And He's In The Hands Of Interrogators.

So The Guy Who Shot Gadhafi Was Wearing A Yankees Cap. Did You See That? If He'd Had A Boston Red Sox Hat On He Probably Would Have Missed.