I Would Start A Revolution, But I

You Know You Have A Drinking Problem When The Bartender Knows Your Name -- And You've Never Been To That Bar Before.

My Forte Is Awkwardness.

I Try To Write Three Jokes Every Day. I Don't Sit Down And Write Them, It's Just Things That Pop Into My Head. Then I'll Go Watch It Fail Onstage That Night.

My New Year's Resolution Was To Stop Saying 'you Go, Girl' To Myself.

My Headshot Is A Scratch And Sniff, It Smells Like Failure And Onions.